eve winchester’s Blog

wow,it’s been 3 moths since the last time I updated this blog on my ‘not-so-secret luv mission anymore’ ^^..why not so secret anymore,u wonder?coz by now,almost all the ppl I worked w/ knows that I fancied him,ha3x..u wondered does he still not now about it? nope,he surely knows that I like him by now.what’s going on this last couple of months,u say?well, a lot has happened since the last I blog.a lot of interesting events occurred if I may say so myself 😉 I’ll try to make it not too boring,ok..
after that depressing month of May,I slowly but surely tried to regain back my positive attitude towards the future.sure,everything went as usual.me,working in the ER,handling a lot of patients,ICU/not,co-workers joking about my ‘dangerous aura’ & all..:P in the month of June,the ICU went back on track.there was a new head nurse ‘in town’ 4 the ICU unit.she had about 10yrs experience on it & she was recruited by him.the first couple of weeks there wasn’t any ICU patient 4 her..that’s where all the chaos begins…
u c,she was so enthusiastic 2 let others know what she’s capable of.since there wasn’t any patients 4 her,she ‘indirectly’ search 1 4 herself.she told her friends that if they have a potential ICU patient,they can refer it our hospital coz it’s been vacant 4 a while now. boy,they sure did as she said them 2. my co-worker was the 1st one to experience it.2 times in a row,to be exact!she was so frantic about it.but she wasn’t alone on this.almost all of her ICU staff shared the same feeling.well, long story short,she’s making more enemies in a few weeks since she started 2 work there than any other ppl I knew!does that include me? well,I tend to c the + sides of every ppl I’ve met,including her.as long as she didn’t make anything up about me,I think I can still handle it..
anyway,that’s enough about her.what I’d like 2 tell u is what’s been happening between me & him this few months 🙂 ..
1 day at mid-June perhaps,I was sitting by the nurse station in the ICU as usual,taking care of a patient there.@ that time there was me,a co-worker,& the head nurse.we were discussing (aka gossiping ^^) ’bout him.my co-worker tries to tell the nurse that we both fit 2gether.she then made a comment that she’s also curious about the way he looks at me.she said the way he looked @ me were ‘different’ then when he’s looking at other ppl,which made me blush,of course ^^ .and she already noticed it after only a few weeks, while he still didn’t notice it after 2 yrs!! boy,that sure tells a lot about ppl who don’t know that they’re in luv,while every1 around them could see it w/ their eyes wide shut..ha3x.. 😀 the 3 of us started 2 laughed about it,when suddenly he came into the room.it made us laugh even much more louder than b4,while he’s still wondering what’s going on b4 he came in.of course,we didn’t tell him that we were talking about him just a few seconds ago ^^. after that, we started to bribe him into buying us some snacks.he gave some money to an assistant there & told him 2 buy something 4 us.he came back w/ the food & we sat by the nurse’s counter & started eating it.there was this weird silence in the middle of our conversation where he just looked @ what I was doing.I noticed that he’s been looking @ me & it made me feel nervous.I started to eat the rest of the snack to ease the odd tension.after a few more minutes of conversation,he went back.before he left,my friend asked him 2 hitch a ride back home,as they were on the same route.he told her that he didn’t bring his car otw there coz he’s riding his bike.but she already notice his car keys & told him that he’s lying.the nurse suddenly told him to drove me back home instead.he played dumb & started 2 ask who wants 2 go home.she still insisted him to drove me home instead.I was like,”WTH is going on here?!I’m already embarrassed as I am,u know”.she grabs my friend’s hand & gave him a shout,”doc,u’d better drove dr.eve home instead of dr.c!”. that’s it!!I’m doomed on embarrassment. thank God by the time she said that he already left the room so he didn’t c how my face was flushing red like a tomato ;P the next day when I met my co-worker,she told me that he said that he’ll give me a ride only if I move 2 a place near his instead of where I am now.although I was flattered by his remarks,I just laugh @ her & said that I will if there was some1 who’s willing to ‘give’ me a house there instead of paying the rent by myself.then she said,”I bet he’ll be willing to let u stay @ his place if u want”..wakakakakak..that’ll be the day I keep forward on looking for.. 😀 at least,I thought, he was making a little bit of progress there,hi3x.. 😛
then came in the month of July..it’s my birthday that month & boy did I get a lot of ‘surprises’ that month 😉 on the day of my bday,I was on duty & kinda hope that he’ll just pop-up from nowhere & wished my happy bday or some sort.so,I was a bit ‘edgy’ that day.when he finally did called me that day,it was only to ask about my friend’s number.I was like,”what!!it’s my birthday & all u wanted 2 say is if I have her number?!WTH was that all about?!”.I was trying not 2 get furious w/ him & I asked him whether there was something else that he wanted to say & he just plainly said nope..then all hell breaks lose.. X( all day long I ended up working halfheartedly & almost wanna scream @ anyone who doesn’t agree w/ me or annoys me.but then all I needed was a little bit of patience,coz @ mid-July something ‘interesting’ happened ^_^
on July 16-17th,our hospital is holding an annual family gathering 4 the doctors,& this time we’re going to stay in at a lodge in Garut.I’ve been attending this sort of thing the last 2 yrs & I’m sure not gonna let this year go to waste either 🙂 about a week before the event,an Obgyn asked me whether I’m going or not.I told him I’m going,& then he said,”he’s also going there 2,u know”.I was like,”OMG!does he already knew about us already?”.although I’m pretty sure I knew who the culprit that has been talking about us 😉 I just smiled & said,”so what does that have got 2 do w/ me??”.he just left the room leaving me a teasing smile otw.oh,well.no use in hiding it from him now.
anyway,on the vacation day,I took a ride on a car that was rented by the pharmacy w/ 3 other ppl,a neurologist,a pediatrician & her niece.we didn’t talk a lot about anything otw.I think we all pretended to sleep along the road to avoid talking to each other 😛 anyways,we arrived @ our destination @ about 1600 hrs.some ppl were already there.the 3 of us were taken to each of our lodge,whereas mine were separated far enough from the 2 of them at the back of the villa.my bunk is room number 35,where I stayed on the 2nd floor.it was cozy & I like the view from the balcony 2,over-viewing the pond.since dinner will be served at about 1800 hrs,there’s still enough time to take a rest after the long journey.I took a nice warm bath & got ready 4 dinner.I told my travelling friend before that I’ll be coming over to pick her up 2 dinner.but I also asked a dentist to tell me when she’s going to dinner.
when I finished putting on my make-up,suddenly I heard some guy knocking @ my door,calling my name.I thought that it might be the dentist’s husband who came 2 fetch me 4 dinner..boy,how much wrong that was!!could u guess who’s been knocking @ my door? 😉 yupz,it’s HIM!!when I opened the door,I thought I was in the middle of a dream or something.I never would’ve,ever thought that he’d be the 1 knocking @ my door!if there’s anything like a ‘mini’ heart-attack,then I guess I’m having 1 @ that time. I was so stunned that I couldn’t answer his question when he asked who did I bunk with.instead I asked him,”why are u here?”.he kept asking his question w/o bothering mine.the 2nd time he asked,I was already back to my so called normal mode-on,& told him that I’m all alone.then it’s my turn 2 repeat my question & this time he answered,”my room is next to yours,don’t u notice?that’s why I’m here”.he showed me our names on the front door & I was stunned 4 the 2nd time.I said 2 myself,”Holy shit!how,when,..what the hell happened here?there wasn’t any name on the door when I came by earlier.or I wouldn’t be in this shape if I had known b4 hand”.then he said,”if u don’t mind,I’d like 2 borrow your room 4 my friends here”.then he introduce me to his so called friends,a guy about his age whom he met when he rented a place while he was in college,his daughter,& I think the other 1 was his nephew or something.I could have sworn that he’s eyes were blinking w/ delight when he knew that I was staying next 2 him,hi3x..;) & I guess the same thing goes 2 me 2 ^^..but of course we didn’t have the guts 2 tell each other about it as always,ha8x.. 😀 so,after a little chit-chat,I told him that I’m off to my friends’ bunk to pick her up 4 dinner..aaand,as usual,he said to wait 4 him 4 a while & told me to go there 2gether.I was like,”if only I’d known that u’ll be my neighbour,I wouldn’t have made plans w/ any other ppl,u know.I’d stick 2 u like a glue..;D
I was already late 2 pick up my friend coz apparently,she rang me a couple of times,but I didn’t answer the phone.if she only knew that I was so distracted by my new ‘neighbour’,hi3x..so,we set for dinner,while he went 4 a swim w/ his friends.the dinner party wasn’t so amusing like the last time.in fact,it was so boring to the 3 of us,that we went back to our rooms in spite of all the things that are still happening.dinner wasn’t that good like the last time either.so,we all went off to bed.
as I lay down on my bed,I couldn’t help but feeling.. scared??I wonder why did I feel this way?isn’t this what I’ve been dreaming all this time?able to be near him when the night comes?so why is this sudden feeling of uneasiness surrounding me??I even held my breathe when I heard someone moving next door coz I don’t wanna wake him up.how stupid was that,huh?!paranoid much..ha8x.. 😀
the next day when I woke up,in the end I just had a couple of hours of sleep instead.I listened carefully to check for any sounds from my ‘neighbour’.as soon as I’m pretty sure that there was no one there,I took a bath.even when I was bathing,I was still paranoid.afraid that he’ll suddenly went by my room & saw me in the bathroom naked :p that’s just coz last night he told me that there’s a gap in the bathroom wall where someone could take a peek inside (which isn’t so bad if it’s only him though,ha8x..) 😛
after taking some breakfast, we were given shirts 2 wear for the games that day.I went back to my shack to change.I opened my door as quiet as possible,don’t want my ‘neighbour’ 2 notice that I’m back.as I was changing,I heard the next door being unlocked & someone got in.suddenly I started to panic (which I still wonder up ‘til now why do I have 2 b that panic all of the sudden anyway?).I was facing a dilemma.either I’m getting out now or remain inside until he got out 1st.but then I thought,WTH!why should I be afraid @ him anyway?he didn’t do anything wrong last night,aside from giving me a ‘mini heart-attack’ when I learned that he’s my next-doot neighbour.so I told myself that I can handle this situation easily & I walked out.I tried to lock the door very,very quietly,but the damn door hasn’t been given any oilately,it gave a creek sound.and just as I suspected,he shout out my name.’’hey,is that you?’’,he shouted.’’yeah,it’s me’’,I answered.and just like that,he quickly opened his door,still wearing his biking costume, & started to talk about a lot of things (which is mostly about the ppl in the other hospital,as usual,hi3x..).that morning I was glad that I didn’t make any promises to my friend like last night.so,there I was listening to all his talk about our co-workers @ the other place.during our conversations,he made a call to 1 of his friends asking why he didn’t came.I just stood there like an idiot,just staring @ him,wondering will it be ok if I left him in the middle of his conversation w/ his friend there.but then I thought,that wouldn’t be polite.so,I stared @ him a little more,sometimes pretended to look @ other things.but only 4 a few mere seconds,than I glance back @ him again,hi3x.. ^^ guess,I really enjoyed looking @ him whenever I can.it’s not like I’d get another opportunity like this,u know,get it? *wink,wink.. after he finished talking on the phone,he pick up on our last conversation & started to talk again.as we were talking (aka. he talks,I listen ^^),the Obgyn who likes to joke @ me went by under us.I instinctively drew myself back,just in case he sees me with him.coz if he did sees us 2gether there,that’ll be the talk @ work.of course,almost all the nurses there already notice about ‘us’ being ‘friendly’ like this.but then again,I don’t want any of the doctors there 2 find out about it.anyway,I finally did manage to talk long enough (as long as 15 minutes tops ;P) about my day @ the hospital, & what I like is that he appreciates me.in a way like my dad would praise me if I did something good..well,maybe I’m not thinking of seeing him as my dad.but just maybe I like the way he acted like my dad would use 2 praise me 4 being such a smart girl.OMG,do u know how much I adored him that way ?? ^__^

Dear….
Kuingin agar setiap perjumpaanku dengan mu menjadi sebuah perjumpaan manis,hiasi selalu dengan senyuman tulusmu karena senyummu adalah bahagiaku do’amu adalah sebuah keridhoan bagiku.

Dear…
Bertuturkatalah yang lembut padaku ketika kau hendak sampaikan sesuatu
… agar ku mudah mencerna apa maksudmu perhatikanku pula ketika ku ingin berbagi denganmu mendengarkan ucapan atau ceritanku.
Karena bagiku itu adalah sebuah penghargaan.
——————————————————————————
Ya Allah, jika dia benar jodoh hamba maka dekatkanlah sedekat mungkin sehingga hamba bisa DIKHITBAH olehnya.

Jika dia bukan jodoh hamba maka jauhkanlah dan hapuslah rasa cinta ini yang ada di hati, dan berilah hamba pengganti yang terbaik dari dirinya. Hamba tidak ingin ada air mata yang menetes di pipi hanya karena cinta…
——————————————————————————
… Andai aku salah
Tegurlah aku dengan kata-katamu
yang penuh dengan kelembutan dan kebijaksanaan
… Andai aku marah
Belailah rambutku dengan penuh kasih sayangmu
Agar marahku bisa berubah menjadi kelembutan
… Andai aku lupa
Ingatkanlah aku dengan penuh kasih sayang
Agar nanti kau tetap menjadi suri tauladan bagiku dan anak kita
——————————————————————————

Jika anda sedang benar, jangan terlalu berani dan bila anda sedang takut, jangan terlalu takut.
Karena keseimbangan sikap adalah penentu
ketepatan perjalanan kesuksesan anda

Tugas kita bukanlah untuk berhasil. Tugas kita adalah untuk mencoba, karena di dalam mencoba
itulah kita menemukan dan belajar membangun
kesempatan untuk berhasil

Anda hanya dekat dengan mereka yang anda
sukai. Dan seringkali anda menghindari orang
yang tidak tidak anda sukai, padahal dari dialah
Anda akan mengenal sudut pandang yang baru

Orang-orang yang berhenti belajar akan menjadi
pemilik masa lalu. Orang-orang yang masih terus
belajar, akan menjadi pemilik masa depan

Tinggalkanlah kesenangan yang menghalangi
pencapaian kecemerlangan hidup yang di
idamkan. Dan berhati-hatilah, karena beberapa
kesenangan adalah cara gembira menuju
kegagalan

Jangan menolak perubahan hanya karena anda
takut kehilangan yang telah dimiliki, karena
dengannya anda merendahkan nilai yang bisa
anda capai melalui perubahan itu

Anda tidak akan berhasil menjadi pribadi baru bila
anda berkeras untuk mempertahankan cara-cara
lama anda. Anda akan disebut baru, hanya bila
cara-cara anda baru

Ketepatan sikap adalah dasar semua ketepatan.
Tidak ada penghalang keberhasilan bila sikap
anda tepat, dan tidak ada yang bisa menolong
bila sikap anda salah

Orang lanjut usia yang berorientasi pada
kesempatan adalah orang muda yang tidak
pernah menua ; tetapi pemuda yang berorientasi
pada keamanan, telah menua sejak muda

Hanya orang takut yang bisa berani, karena
keberanian adalah melakukan sesuatu yang
ditakutinya. Maka, bila merasa takut, anda akan
punya kesempatan untuk bersikap berani

Kekuatan terbesar yang mampu mengalahkan
stress adalah kemampuan memilih pikiran yang
tepat. Anda akan menjadi lebih damai bila yang
anda pikirkan adalah jalan keluar masalah.

Jangan pernah merobohkan pagar tanpa mengetahui
mengapa didirikan. Jangan pernah mengabaikan
tuntunan kebaikan tanpa mengetahui keburukan
yang kemudian anda dapat

Seseorang yang menolak memperbarui cara-cara
kerjanya yang tidak lagi menghasilkan, berlaku
seperti orang yang terus memeras jerami untuk
mendapatkan santan

Bila anda belum menemkan pekerjaan yang sesuai
dengan bakat anda, bakatilah apapun pekerjaan
anda sekarang. Anda akan tampil secemerlang
yang berbakat

Kita lebih menghormati orang miskin yang berani
daripada orang kaya yang penakut. Karena
sebetulnya telah jelas perbedaan kualitas masa
depan yang akan mereka capai

Jika kita hanya mengerjakan yang sudah kita
ketahui, kapankah kita akan mendapat
pengetahuan yang baru ? Melakukan yang belum
kita ketahui adalah pintu menuju pengetahuan

Jangan hanya menghindari yang tidak mungkin.
Dengan mencoba sesuatu yang tidak
mungkin,anda akan bisa mencapai yang terbaik
dari yang mungkin anda capai.

Salah satu pengkerdilan terkejam dalam hidup
adalah membiarkan pikiran yang cemerlang
menjadi budak bagi tubuh yang malas, yang
mendahulukan istirahat sebelum lelah.

Bila anda mencari uang, anda akan dipaksa
mengupayakan pelayanan yang terbaik.
Tetapi jika anda mengutamakan pelayanan yang
baik, maka andalah yang akan dicari uang

Waktu ,mengubah semua hal, kecuali kita. Kita
mungkin menua dengan berjalanannya waktu,
tetapi belum tentu membijak. Kita-lah yang harus
mengubah diri kita sendiri

Semua waktu adalah waktu yang tepat untuk
melakukan sesuatu yang baik. Jangan menjadi
orang tua yang masih melakukan sesuatu yang
seharusnya dilakukan saat muda.

Tidak ada harga atas waktu, tapi waktu sangat
berharga. Memilik waktu tidak menjadikan kita
kaya, tetapi menggunakannya dengan baik
adalah sumber dari semua kekayaan

Orang-orang yang minta gaji lebih biasanya tidak dapat lebih, tapi yang melakukan lebih dan berkualitas akan mendapat lebih. Jangan takar tenaga yang Anda keluarkan berdasarkan gaji yang Anda dapatkan tetapi berdasarkan hasil yang dapat Anda kontribusikan bagi kelangsungan dan keuntungan perusahaan Anda.

Siapa bilang untuk menjadi kaya dan sejahtera harus punya modal yang banyak? Kalau saja Anda cermat melihat peluang yang ada, ada banyak celah yang bisa menjadi jalan untuk meraih kesejahteraan yang diinginkan. Yang dibutuhkan cuma kemauan untuk menjadi sukses.

Sign 1:
The secret of a lover who can have long-term relationship is to share each other. You and your lover should always help each other, whether it is small problem or huge problem. The most important one is that both of you should always enjoy every lives aspects together. And everything will seem to be fun even without involving others.
So, have you ever felt this? If yes, Congratulations, this means that your lover has a chance to be your soulmate!

Sign 2:
One of the criteria that determine your lover is your soul mate or not is the capability of your lover being comfort in front of you. Now try to pay attention to your lover, His/Her movement, how to dress up, how the hairstyle, how to talk and how to laugh impress who your lover is. Do any words always appear spontaneous or not contrived? If not, (sorry) most likely he/she is not your soul mate.

Sign 3:
There is inner contact that makes both of your heart can always mutual. And if your lover can read each other thoughts and guess each other feeling in some circumstance, Congratulations! Perhaps your lover actually is part of your soul saved…

Sign 4:
Being with your lover makes your feeling relax, comfortable without oppression. Being hours with your lover, each time and everyday does not bore you. This is a sign that both of you will soon be bound each other.

Sign 5:
Your lover was always there for you in any situation. And your lover also can understand your mood in love and grief. Believe it, a pair certainly not be afraid the ebb and flow with time.

Now, remember, remember back.
Is he/she is the first person to come offer assist when you were in sorrow?
Your lover knows your condition when you were in pain….
If yes, do not hesitate. He/She is the one…

Sign 6:
He/She was not concerned with the past of your family,
He/She did not care with your pass when you were with your love one.
He/She is also not diffident to talk about His/Her pass…
So, this means that your lover is ready to accept you as is…

Sign 7:
Each person has a lack of certainty,
And you are not shy to show it to your lover. Even when you look “awful” in front of him, Such when you wake up or when you are ill. And not taken bath for 2 days.

Sign 8:
If you feel your secret is save in your lover’s hand rather than on your best friends’ hand. Or you are no longer keeping any secret from your lover, Then be happy! Because this means you have found your true soul mate!

a few days ago, I did something that I shouldn’t have done, but I did it anyway,which now I kinda regret it..wanna know what happened?? well, it goes like this..
last week, I just got a notice that I wasn’t cut 2 go 2 a ‘school’.I felt so depressed @ the time (..& still am depressed when writing this story.. :(.. ).I was perished, felt like the whole world is rejecting me @ the time.I was so desperate that I even decided to text a nurse friend of mine 2 chat.apparently,I met 1 of them @ the hospital @ the time,when he was taking a break in the canteen.so,I kinda poured out my heart 2 him & another 1 that talk 2 me via the cellphone.even though I felt a little relief,but the 1 I’m really looking forward 2 talk 2 is him..but that’s just it!! if I called him or maybe text him,he’d call back & demand 2 know what happened. I got scared that if he talked 2 me,while trying 2 soothe me & say it’s ok,there will be next time bla,bla,bla, I’d go all gloomy & maybe even cried my heart out listening 2 him..& that’s exactly what I don’t want him 2 know!!he might think that I’m just another spoiled cry-baby who just can’t handle the real world. I don’t want him 2 c that side of me..since I don’t know how he really feels ’bout me,I’m not ready 2 show ‘that’ side of me 2 him just yet..that ‘fragile’ side of me.. 😦
anyways, as it turns out, when I arrived @ work,my co-worker told me that she just hung-up the phone on him just mere seconds b4 I arrived.I got dumbstruck.my heart was beating faster than it should,but I still manage 2 ask her what did they talked about while turning my back on her.she said that he mentioned a lot of other things 2 her first,which I know is just his way of chit chat before asking the ‘real’ question.then she finally said that he was asking her about how did I do.hearing that,I suddenly got a mixed feelings of happy, sad, & mad, all at the same time.happy, coz that means that I got him interested. sad,coz I didn’t make the cut & strangely,felt kinda embarassed @ him,2 all his efforts & stuffs you know..& then I got mad! coz he didn’t even bother 2 call me up or even text me himself 2 know the news.he just had 2 ask my friend ’bout it. I was like,”oh,come on!!this is getting funnier by the minute.don’t u even have the guts 2 call 4 yourself?!”.I felt like screaming @ that time, which I did 4 all those reasons after knowing that 😛 my friend even proposed that he should call me himself 2 get the news.I quickly rejected her proposal.I couldn’t talk 2 him just yet, let alone see him in person. as I said before, I’m afraid I might break down 2 tears if I hear his voice on the phone. so,as it turns out,seconds after our conversation,he made an attempt to call her again & asked how I was doing.she asked me again whether I wanted him 2 call me himself, which I quickly decline.so she text him & told him that I didn’t make it through & now is looking depressed & all.after that,he didn’t reply back.that day I felt so lazy that I feel like I don’t have any energy left in me 4 work.. -__-
..the next day, I continued my work & arrived @ JB @ the usual time.@ first, I was so glad 2 learn that there weren’t any patient in the icu, so there’s gonna be less chance that I ever gonna bump into him that day.even though I remain @ the 2nd floor, but I didn’t sat @ the nurse station like I usually did.I sat either in the nurse’s changing room,delivery room,baby room,wherever, as long as there’s a tiny chance on bumping into him that day…but as usual..the more I tried 2 evade seeing someone, the more times I got 2 bump into them by mere chance.. T__T .. & so there I was in the icu @ around 7 p.m.,checking on the patient’s status & condition.I went there at around that hour coz I estimated that he’d already been gone somewhere @ that time,so I didn’t have to see him.the patient has already been in the room since about 4 p.m..but that was just my luck!!about 15 minutes after I came,someone opened the door & in he came.hah!!so much for my ‘escape maneuver’ that day :I when I saw him coming in, I unconsciously spoke loud enough 4 one of the nurse beside me 2 hear.I said,”OMG,it’s him!I definitely don’t wanna speak or even see him right now!”.she was mesmerized by my comment & asked,”what is it,doc?what’s going on?”. I didn’t answer her question. instead, I pretended that I was looking @ the status & didn’t pay any attention of him crossing by the room.I know he was smiling @ me & all, but I just ignored him.after he got close enough 2 me,he asked,”so how’s it going?”.I took a quick glance @ him & then return my gaze again 2 the status while saying,”what’s going on with what,doc?”.”the test.did u make it?”.suddenly, I feel the urge to get angry @ him coz he didn’t even bother 2 call & ask me himself yesterday. so I said 2 him while sulking,”u already knew the answer 2 that,don’t u?why bother asking?as if it’s gonna change..”.he quickly change his expression from being all smiley to something like,”oops,what did I do wrong?I’m just asking”.he tried 2 lighten up the atmosphere by saying,”well,I haven’t heard it from u..maybe there’s gonna be some miracle when hearing about it live..”. I just gave him a smirk & didn’t say anything.after the room fall silent for a minute or 2,he sat in front of me & asked again about how it went.I explained it to him w/o any enthusiasm like I always did whenever we talk 2 each other.he was listening to it seriously & didn’t even bother to make a joke about it.he just sat there & told me that it looks like it’s getting much harder 2 get in nowadays, & other stuffs which meant 2 soothe me..& it still didn’t work, at all..I guess he could see right through me that I’m not in the mood 4 some long chat, so he got up instead & asked whether there’s going 2b another op on the OR.I looked @ him & said,”dunno..”,plain & simple. then he also asked the nurse if there’s going 2b an op scheduled 4 tomorrow.she also said that she doesn’t know. after he left the room,she asked me again about what’s going on between us.why wasn’t I talking 2 him the way I used to talk?only giving him short answers & stuffs. even she had notice that there’s something ‘weird’ going on between us ^^ ..smiling,I told her that there’s nothing wrong going on between us,I just don’t feel like talking 2 him @ the moment 😛 though she’s still curious ’bout it,but I didn’t mention anything.but she did asked me whether I did take the test 4 anesthesia & did I make it through.I said yes & I failed.then she asked me why did I chose 2b one?now this one is kinda tricky question ^^ I was about to tell her that ever since I work @ the ER in the other hospital, I stumbled through a lot of emergency stuffs & it excites me.I didn’t get to the last phrase,when suddenly she interrupted & said,”wow,so there is some sparks going on over there between u 2.” she giggled & I didn’t even bother 2 continue what I was going 2 say.so I just shut my mouth after that 😛
..a couple of hours later,I was still sitting @ the nurse’s counter in the icu when suddenly he came back in.he didn’t bother 2 address me & so I did the same thing.he said that he was looking 4 an epidural set 2 one of the nurses,so they searched everywhere in the room 4 it.even when he was searching the desk near me,he still didn’t bother to talk or even look @ me.so I did the same thing 😛 after searching w/ no luck, he still sat there on the chair a few inches away beside me w/o saying a word.I took a quick glance @ him & saw that he was spacing out..dunno if he’s trying 2 remember where he’d put that thing, or still wondering how to make up 2 me,hi3x 😉 a few minutes after that,my cellphone rang.it was from the 3rd floor & they want me 2 call the consultant in charge of a new patient that she didn’t know yet.so I got up & told the mod that I’m going upstairs.he asked whether there’s an urgent patient upstairs & I said that it’s nothing.I just have to report something to the internist in charge,that’s all. I didn’t even bother to tell him that I’ll be leaving.but as I was leaving, I could still hear him saying,”report?what’s there to report?”, & it made me smile 🙂 I kept on smiling as I leave the room,knowing that surely a few minutes ago he still noticed what I was doing although we weren’t talking 2 each other like we used too 😉 ..but that night,when I was up all alone in the dr’s room, I seemed 2 have realized that it was so selfish of me to do that 2 him.he wasn’t the one to blame in all of this. I felt sorry 4 him all of the sudden.I even went into tears knowing that I could’ve hurt him & made him feel uneasy earlier 😦 ..& that’s why that night I wished that the next time I saw him,I’ll make sure to give him a smile like I used to do & forget that something like this ever happened between us 🙂
..well,apparently the next day I did see him again @ the other hospital ^^ although we didn’t have a chance to chat,I just smiled @ him when he saw me in the same room as he is.seeing him still busy talking 2 other ppl in the room,I got out silently..I didn’t get a chance 2 apologize, but at least now he knew that I’m not ‘mad’ @ him anymore,ha8.. 😀 ..oh well,like what I’ve said b4 & I’ll say it again..if ‘it’ was meant 2b,than it’s meant 2b..which I do hope it is, Amin… ^^
… c u next time.. 🙂

1. Sentiasa tersenyum dan jangan bersikap sombong apabila berinteraksi dengan mereka.

2. Pandai memasak adalah ciri-ciri utama agar lelaki mudah terpikat dengan anda.

3. Berwatak pintar mampu menarik minat mereka.

4. Jujur dan sentiasa merendah diri.

5. Lakukan apa yang dia suka dan jangan lakukan apa yang dia tidak suka.

6. Mempunyai bentuk badan yang menarik (balik kepada individu).

7. Mempunyai tingkah laku yang baik dan lemah lembut.

8. Pandai dalam memainkan peranan sebagai seorang wanita ketika berada di samping lelaki yang anda minati.

9. Jangan terlalu monoton

10. Ketika berinteraksi dengan mereka jangan lupa gunakan bahasa tubuh yang anda ketahui seperti mata dan tangan.

11. Jaga cara pemakaian anda, seksi atau tidak tergantung kepada lelaki yang anda minati.

12. Sering memberikan kartu ucapan buat si dia yang kamu minati untuk ‘plan’ pertama memikat dirinya.

13. Lelaki menyukai wanita yang suka berterus terang tanpa menyembunyikan sesuatu.

14. Apabila berhadapan dengan lelaki yang kamu minati, tataplah matanya dan tunjukkan sipat humor kamu. Ini adalah taktik untuk memberitahu si dia bahwa kamu bisa didekati tetapi bukan berarti kamu ini perempuan murahan dan mudah didekati.

15. Jangan bersikap selalu jual mahal apabila berada bersama mereka.

16.bersikap Bijak dan menyesuaikan diri dalam keadaan apapun juga.

17. Tidak mudah putus asa dan sentiasa berdiri di atas kaki sendiri tanpa meminta pertolongan dari orang lain.

18. Jangan suka berbicara masalah yang tidak berguna ketika sedang dengan mereka.

19. Jangan bandingkan ‘dia’ dengan lelaki-lelaki yang pernah kamu kenali.

20. Menjadi temannya ketika dia susah dan senang.

21. Lelaki suka kamu menjadi pendengar yang setia dan tidak suka wanita yang suka membangkang.

22. Yang paling penting lelaki suka dimanja dengan belaian dan kata-kata yang romantis

23. Bunyi suara sepatu ketika berjalan, juga mampu menarik perhatian lelaki.

24. Lelaki tidak suka jika kamu memakai make up yang terlalu tebal atau berlebihan

25. Mengetahui dan merayakan hari ulang tahun nya

26. Menghormati dirinya, keluarga dan teman-teman yang dekat dengannya.

27. Bersikap dewasa dalam tutur-kata dan tingkah laku. Lelaki tidak suka wanita yang bersikap terlalu ke kanak kanakan

28. Agresif.

29. Jangan terlalu ‘excited’ ketika bertemu dan bercanda dengannya. Contohnya bercanda terlalu lama di telepon untuk perkenalan pertama.

30. Jangan terlalu bersikap ‘kelelakian’ dan ganas dalam bergaul

31. Jangan terlalu menunjukkan bahwa kamu ini terlalu baik dan ‘perfect’.

32. Jangan perasan bahwa kamu ini mempunyai wajah yang cantik

33. Sentiasa memegang prinsip sederhana dan tidak boros dalam belanja.

34. Bersikap keibuan adalah tips yang perlu kamu titik beratkan.

35. Sentiasa berbicara sopan dan lemah lembut dengan mereka.

36. Kebanyakan mereka ini adalah golongan yang terlalu sensitif dan suka akan kelembutan apalagi dari seorang gadis.

37. Kenali siapa dirinya sebenarnya sebelum kamu memulai langkah untuk memikat nya.

38. Lelaki menyukai wanita yang suka menjaga kulit agar tetap terawat bersih Jangan biarkan wajah kamu dipenuhi dengan jerawat batu!

39. Aset penting bagi kamu untuk memikat lelaki adalah mata, punggung dan gaya langkah kamu yang menarik

40. Jangan bersikap terlalu kuno.

41. Bertanya khabar sekurang-kurangnya dua kali seminggu agar tali persahabatan kamu dengannya tidak putus begitu saja. Mungkin suatu hari nanti sikap kamu yang terlalu perhatikan dia, mampu menarik perhatiannya.

42. Usia dan bentuk badan bukan menjadi ukuran yang terpenting adalah kejujuran dan tingkah laku yang sopan santun.

43. Lelaki menyukai seorang wanita yang beriman dan beragama

44. Menunjukkan bahwa kamu bukanlah seorang gadis yang mudah dipermainkan.

45. Jangan terlalu merengek dan mengada-ngada.

46. Jangan tunjukkan kelemahan kamu ketika berada di samping lelaki yang kamu cintai

47. Lelaki menyukai wanita yang bijaksana dan dewasa serta nyambung bila di ajak berbicara.

48. Bisa bekerja di dalam bidang yang kamu minati

49. Tidak terlalu banyak ngatur dan jaga tata tertib kamu di meja makan.

50. Jangan terlalu over , lelaki akan membenci kamu!

Anda sudah bosan berakhir pada cinta yang salah. Alih-alih mengharap cinta sejati, yang didapat malah cinta sehari. Sebelum memutuskan menerima cinta seseorang, perhatikan tanda-tandanya, apakah dia memang soulmate Anda? Ini dia tandanya.

1. Ia Sahabat Terbaik Anda
Saat sedang mengalami kesulitan, yang pertama kali terlintas di kepala Anda adalah dirinya. Ia pandai menenangkan hati Anda. Begitupun ketika bahagia, Anda tahu pada siapa kebahagiaan itu akan dibagi. Ia selalu hadir untuk Anda dalam situasi apa pun. Tak ada orang yang lebih baik mengisi peran ini daripada pasangan Anda. Percayalah pasangan yang berjodoh pasti tak takut mengalami pasang surut hidup.

2. Punya Banyak Kesamaan
Hasil penelitian mengungkapkan, pernikahan yang paling stabil adalah pernikahan yang melibatkan dua orang dengan banyak kesamaan. Tidak terlalu penting jenis kesamaannya apa, tapi semua itu merupakan modal untuk langgengnya hubungan. Rahasia pasangan sejati adalah, manakala Anda berdua selalu bisa menikmati bersama semua aspek kehidupan. Tidak butuh orang lain untuk membuat kalian bahagia. Apakah Anda sudah merasakannya? Jika ya, jangan lepaskan dia.

3. Kepentingan Anda adalah Segalanya
“Cinta dimulai ketika seseorang menemukan bahwa kebutuhan orang lain sama pentingnya dengan kebutuhannya sendiri.” (Harry Stack Sullivan). Dari bahasa tubuh dan sikapnya selama ini, terlihat jelas, dia memperlakukan Anda sebagai orang terpenting dalam hidupnya, bahkan seringkali dia mementingkan kebutuhan Anda ketimbang dirinya. Bila dia punya potensi itu, mungkin dia yang Anda cari. Karena cinta abadi melibatkan komitmen rela berkorban untuk kebahagiaan pasangan.

4. Cinta tak Beryarat
Coba ingat-ingat, apakah ia pernah cemberut saat Anda memakai baju yang tak sesuai seleranya? Atau Anda pernah dicueki, ketika Anda memotong rambut tanpa sepengetahuannya? Bila ya, sebaiknya pikir-pikir lagi untuk memilih dia jadi kekasih. Padahal, cinta sejati adalah cinta yang tak bersyarat, mampu menerima pasangan apa adanya.

5. Mau Mendengarkan
Setiap Anda berbicara padanya, tak sedetik pun perhatiannya beralih. Ia pendengar yang baik, bisa mendengarkan Anda bicara berjam-jam lamanya tanpa rasa bosan, penuh perhatian dan mengerti apa yang Anda diinginkan. Sehingga Anda tak perlu mengulang kalimat yang sama berkali-kali dan mengatakan,”Kamu ngerti enggak sih, apa yang saya bicarakan tadi?”

6. Always On Time
Untuk urusan apa pun, dia selalu berusaha untuk tepat waktu. Janji bertemu jam tujuh malam, dia sudah tiba di tempat setengah jam sebelumnya. Baginya, lebih baik dia yang lumutan, daripada membiarkan Anda menunggu. Apalagi jika meeting pointnya dirasa tidak familiar dengan Anda.

7. Kontak Batin
Tanpa diucapkan, kalian bisa saling tahu cuaca hati masing-masing. Meski bukan paranormal, kalian seperti bisa saling membaca pikiran dan menduga reaksi, serta perasaan pasangan pada situasi dan kondisi tertentu. Bila Anda sudah merasakan hal tersebut terhadapnya, selamat! Mungkin dialah belahan jiwa Anda.

it’s been awhile…where 2 start ya?? hmmm, let’see..oh yeah, I know!! ^^
u know that I’m having a test this month for PPDS,right? well,it so happens that I chose to be an anesth,which is the same as his line of work,he3x.. 😉
..about 3 weeks ago, when I went 2 work replacing a co-worker, I called him as usual 2 report about a patient of his..& after that was finished, as suspected,he asked when will I be having my test.I told him that I’ve already had my psychiatric test 2 days ago.he continued asking questions about it & sometimes giving me some extra advice about it..well,actually he did most of the talking,I just spent most of the time listening,hi3x.. when the phone went dead at first coz of the bad signal there,I tried 2 contact him again coz I know that he hasn’t finished about what he wanted to say & felt rather bad that it seemed like I hung up on him.just when I was about 2 call,he called my cell 1st.it went on like that a couple of times,but the next one I didn’t bother 2 make any attempt 2 call coz he made the call himself,ha8x 😀 after he’s satisfied, only then that he hung up…& it’s already been an hour since I called 2 report, wakakakakakak.. 😀
..then 2 weeks ago,when I skip work 4 de written test,my friend told me that he’s constantly looking 4 me that week,asking & wondering when will I go to work,what’s going on w/ my test,etc. I was shocked @ first when I heard it from my co-worker.but then again…it was so kawaiiiii!! ^__^ even she felt weird as 2 why is he so interested about my tests. although, I’m kinda worried that he’ll tell her the truth about my chosen curriculum & messed up the whole surprise.but then again, I think she already kinda figured that out one way or another,he3x.. 😛 @ that time,she told him that the day after that call I was going 2 work @ HK…& u know what? he was so excited 2 hear that!!..wakakakakak..I can imagine how he’d looked & sounded like that day.me & my friend just kept on laughing about it 😀
..a couple of days later when I was sitting in the ER on Sunday, I heard someone opening the door & looked @ one of the nurses expression that told me that it was another Dr. who came in.moments later, he showed up.it took me by surprise.I know that there’s going 2b an op that day,but didn’t expected him to came & stop by ^^ he asked me enthusiastically about how it all went. I told him truthfully about how difficult the written test was.he just nodded & said,”that hard,huh??hmmm..might as well chose another curriculum then”.I was a bit disappointed at his remark though.I thought he was going 2 give me some support or what…oh,well..not everything is gonna end up in a happy ending,right? after saying that,he went out in a bit of a hurry.not b4 I asked him if he was going to see his patient.u c, at that time I struggled so bad not to follow him,coz I’m still not satisfied w/ his remarks just like that..yet 😛 ..but as usual,I kept my ground & stayed in the ER,which happened that I still have an unfinished patient to check 😦
..the day after that,I accidentally talked 2 him again (using my friends phone that is,hi3x..sorry 😉 ). at 1st, it was to tell about his patients condition.but then as usual,he started blabbering about everything else,including asking me about how did my test went again.we went talking on almost half an hour about it,even my friend started to wonder whether we’re ‘satisfied’ chatting just that long,ha8x.. 😀
..& then there’s yesterday ^^ ..I woke up yesterday after having a dream about him asking me to join him on a trip 4 a week to some beach.but even though it was a dream,I still couldn’t manage to just say yes & give in.instead,I told him that I have to ask my mom first.after that, I woke up.I was like,”OMG!! it’s just a dream! why can’t I be spontaneous & flirty for a bit? have I already missed him that much??” ha8x.. 😀 since it was a holiday yesterday,so there wasn’t much patient around in the middle of the day.after I finished my round in the ward,I went back to the ER to take a break.when I came in to say hi to my co-worker,I was surprised to see him sitting there talking to one of the nurses there.I do know that there was an op that morning, & I know that he’s still somewhere downstairs coz a surgeon told me so before I went down.I just didn’t expected him to hang around in the ER that day ^^ so I asked him acting all surprised,”what r u doing here?u just finished that SC,haven’t u?”.he said,”yes.there’s no one left back there,so I came here”.at that remark,I thought 2 myself,”what a pity..& now ur looking 4 someone 2 talk too,right?just a few moments b4 praying time,hmmm?”.I wanted to laugh hearing him saying that,coz he seemed so miserable,u know.. 😀 so I kept him company for a while.while we were talking,the nurse he talked to before got up & went somewhere, leaving only the 2 of us.I felt a little unease,so I quickly scanned the whole place again to see any signs of other ppl in the room.there was another nurse in the room,but she was sleeping..and that’s where I spotted my co-worker sitting in front of the TV w/ a book on his lap.I suspected that he was doing that on purpose coz he didn’t want 2 be bothered by him.I felt a little bit sorry for him,but also happy that I could talk 2 him again w/o anyone bothering,hi3x.. we were interrupted a couple of times coz his phone rang.he said that it was from the other hospital asking him if he can perform a cito op,which he declines coz it’s near praying time.I didn’t asked him who it was or what was that all about,he just told me about it himself ^^ then we chatted for another few minutes before he left to pray. I did manage to asked him whether he’ll be performing an op that evening there.he said,”no way!it’s my friends turn,not mine”.after he said that,I took a mental note & told myself that he’ll be back this evening coz his friends will say that they couldn’t come w/ various reasons.I mean,come on! it’s a long weekend.who wouldn’t wanna go out w/ their family & love ones? since he’s single (or at least,that’s what he claims 2 be ^^ ) & doesn’t have any family nearby,I’m 90% sure that he’ll be back to perform that op,he3x.. 😉 although I wasn’t satisfied enough w/ just a few minutes talk,but somethings are just more important than us ppl.so he left me feeling half full & half empty.but I guess that’s better that nothing at all..& God already did answered my dream ‘instantly’, so why do I have to feel down.I should just rejoice & accepted the time that He gave us that day 🙂 ..after that, I figured that after he finished,he’ll just go back straight to work to that place.that’s why after I finished my lunch, I went back upstairs to take a rest there.
.. I woke up that evening & went to the ER again to catch some dinner.my co-worker came into the room & asked me why did we cut short on our ‘date’ earlier 😉 I told him that it’s enough for that day.then he said,”oh really??coz he seemed to be looking 4 u back & forth here after he got back,he3x..”.I couldn’t help but smile at his remarks & asked him did he really did that.he said yes.then I told him,”if he really wanted to see me, he could just make a call,u know?”,I said sulking.he just laughed at my remarks. ^^
.. after finished dinner, I asked one of the nurses whether the patient is already on the op room.she said it’s been almost an hour ago the patient went in,accompanied by him.I wasn’t that all surprised when she mentioned his name,coz I did predicted it earlier,he3x..;) so after making sure that the situation is clear in the other wards,I went upstairs & sat on the nurse station near the isolation room where I know the patient who were being operated will be staying for a couple of days..of course,my real intentions was hoping that I could ran across him again..& it did 🙂 when I was sitting there all alone on the counter,he appeared wearing the op suit & saw me sitting there all alone.as I saw him,I pretended to be a little surprised that it was him who showed up that night & not one of his friends 😉 he nodded quickly & said that they’ve found a big tumor on the patients colon,& asked whether I wanted to see it.since the wards were all quiet & there’s nothing to do,so I said why not. he showed me to the op room,& I changed my suit first before I went into the op room.