eve winchester’s Blog

Archive for June 2010

yesterday was the first day at work after that ‘exciting’ vacation. a radiologist who happens to came with us that day came out of the bathroom in the ER while I sat there.we greeted each other as usual.then I started asking her about her day in the hotel.who she came with & how she got home,etc.right in the middle of it,she told me that she met an old friend back on her intern days.he’s anesthesiologist now & she had a great time talking with him (aka flirting,from my point of view ^^).she still doesn’t understand that I already know all the doctors in our hospital,especially the one she’s mentioning now 😉 she still insisted that she knows him well.she told me that he’s a good guy,great to be with,fun,smart,and all sort of praise she could find.she even mentioned that he’s still single!at this point,I wanted to laugh badly enough.but of course I don’t wanna disrespect her,especially when it looks like she’s the one who knows everything.she told me that he also knew her.I can’t stop smiling at this remark 🙂 if I remembered correctly,that night in the car,he told us that she patted him,appeared suddenly out of nowhere,telling him that it’s a coincidence that they met there too.he didn’t knew her AT ALL,but he managed to make a polite conversation out of it.
..I kept listening to her in awe as if I haven’t already knew what she’s talking about.in the middle of our conversation,she suddenly had a plan to play match-maker between him & me.I was like stunned for awhile coz that has never crossed my mind before.I wouldn’t dare even if I wanted to 🙂 she said that we’d be a cute couple & she’s willing to help me too.I tried to answer back,but it seems like all the words just flown away from my brain & I didn’t answer in the end.seeing me like that,she asked whether I want her to pass my regards to him.my brain started to think quickly.if I say yes,she’ll sure do me a big favor.if I said no,she’ll just think that it’s ok for me to do such a thing & still send it to him.so,I just said,”whatever u like,it’s fine”.she asked for my schedule @ HK,in case he didn’t know me.I told her,but I’m pretty much sure that won’t be necessary.he knows me well enough 😛 I didn’t tell her that I went back with him the other day,coz that would really spoil the surprise for her,hi3x ^_^
..after she left,I laughed hard in the ER,even the nurses were all confused.of course, I didn’t want to mention this to them.so I just smiled & went back to the doc’s room. inside,I tried to think clearly about what’s the impact of this action on me & him. one, he would be flattered & tried to confirm to me about it the next time we met & everything turned out fine. two, he’d feel awkward knowing it & started to make some space with me,& that’s what I don’t want to happen.I’ve been catching up on him for too long to loose him just because of some irresponsible gossip from someone.
..and then there’s another dilemma.u c,she’s close with the head committee of HK & she might bring it up to him about it.this guy is such a blabber mouth.he couldn’t keep his mouth shut,even if he wanted to.if this story reaches him,then I’m pretty sure tomorrow when I arrived at work,we’ll be the next laughing stock of the hospital. huff..damn, I forgot all about that. X(
..oh well,once again it’s up to God to decide what happens next in our relationship.hopefully it’ll be a happily ever after like they always say in fairy tales story… ^_^


breaking news !!
OMG !! I think he managed to understand & realized what I’ve been doing after all this year…FINALLY !! .. I gotta get this out of my chest be4 I go nuts about it.. XDD
u c,last weekend we had a fam gath @ Universal hotel in Lembang-Bdg.I went there in a car 2gether w/ my gf & 3 guys (a doc,marketing,& driven by a med-rep). @ first,me & my gf thought it’s gonna be a dull ride coz the doc is still a new guy after all..how wrong r we!! it turns out that he’s also a cool & fun guy 2 b with.we had lots of laugh otw to the hotel.turns out,it was a fun ride after all.. 🙂
..after we arrived,we quickly went in our room,ate lunch & started 2 get ready for the night’s event.I was ‘blackmailed’ into being a member of the committee as a replacement 4 my friend who couldn’t make it.so,no time 2 enjoy the pool or the view.it’s work,work,& work. -__-
that night at dinner, I saw him near the buffet table, not yet eating anything.just checking the menu & sort. @ first,I wasn’t going 2 greet him.but then all of the sudden, I changed my mind. I thought 2 myself,why do I have 2 avoid him anyway?we’re all here on vacation,so it should be a relaxing environment to talk about anything.so,I checked up on him w/ a plate in my hand pretending that I intended to eat,not knowing he’s there already.we said our hello’s.then I asked whether he just arrived & came with whom. he said that he just arrived & came w/ an ‘uncle’.of course, I didn’t buy that 🙂 so I just laugh & said,”yeah,who just recently appeared out of nowhere”.he just smiled.then he asked who did I came with & when did we arrived.I’m just trying 2 make some small talk,nothing much.after that,we go our separate ways..for awhile,that is.. ^^
..after I finished eating rice, I went out to look at any other beverages there.but still keeping in mind of his whereabouts though.. ;P although I did saw him nearby from the tip of my eye, I know that he wouldn’t dare to come near me all alone.instead,he looked @ me for a moment & started to talk 2 a bunch of ppl standing near us.I also pretended 2 talk to other ppl near me.after awhile, I went back indoor coz the party was about to start.I didn’t see him again the whole night after that.but I did manage 2 enjoy myself in the middle of it anyway ^_^ what happened the next day was the real ‘event’ that I’ve been waiting for.. 😉
..the event ended at 2 p.m. but be4 that, we had our pict taken 1st.after some shots,everybody went on their seperate ways. as I walk to our table, I caught a glimpse of him talking 2 my friend.i did feel jealous a bit at that time,coz I thought that means he’s already into her.If that’s what’s going on,then I’m sure I’m finished here.I gave a big sigh T_T .. a moment later,she came by to pick her things too.i quickly managed to get that thought out of my mind be4 she notices anything strange. as we’re all pack,we started to look for the driver from the other day.it was a bummer..he couldn’t go w/ us then coz he’s still got a lot of work to do himself.he apologizes for the unpleasant announcement.both me & my gf were disappointed,coz we were looking for him 2 drive us 2 some gift store 1st be4 going home. a few minutes later,she told me that he asked her whether she wanted to tag along w/ him coz they live nearby.I pretended that I was shocked,while inside my heart felt like being cut little by little by a small knife.I asked her again if what she’s saying was true.she said of course, but she couldn’t call him coz she didn’t have his number.she asked me whether I have it.I was excited 2 learn that there’s an opportunity knocking right in front of me @ that exact moment. @ first,she wasn’t so sure if he’s going 2b alright w/ us tagging along. I convinced her that he’ll be ok w/ it. so,I rang his number. for a split 2nd,I did thought that it might be best if she was the one who asked him.but then again,it’s MY phone & number that we’re using & he’ll notice it anyway on his screen if he still has my number,that is. so,I manage to gain my guts 2 asked him,thinking that there’s nothing 2 lose anyway.on the 2nd ring,he picked it up.be4 I got 2 say anything, he quickly said,”yeah,wanna come along with us?”.I said yes & mentioned that there will also be 2 other ppl besides me.he said it’s okey,they still got enough room for us.then he said to wait for them at the front parking lot.we went there but there was no sign of his whereabouts, let alone his car coz I don’t know wth he’s car look like.after searching for a few moment w/o any luck,I called him again.I asked him where he is.he said to just wait a moment for them near the guards gate.surely after that,he did came using a black xenia (which I got to know afterwords),& stopped right in front of us. I got in first & sat right on his back. I didn’t sat there on purpose,though.I just kinda did it.. ^^
..after we’re all seated,I kinda manipulated him if he could take us to some gift shop otw back ;P.. I asked,”we’re going straight back home,are we?”.”why?”,he asked back.”could u take us 2 some gift shop otw back?u know,something for the guys back home & all”,I answered.” he said ok & asked his friend which is the nearest gift shop from there.he even called his friend to ask about it.I kinda felt guilty @ first 4 using him..but then again,when did I ever asked him 4 a favor like this be4? I’d never dare.. 😉 after he finished calling,he then asked me in a serious tone,”what made u think to call me back there?”.he was so damn serious @ the time that he looked @ me straight in the eye through his upper-view mirror,it made me shudder all of the sudden.I noticed that he was using his serious face w/ those serious eyes, demanding me to answer his question honestly & truthfully.what did I do wrong this time,I thought. I stared back @ him said,”I knew it from her.aren’t u the one who offered her to tag along in the first place?”. While saying those words,it kinda broke my heart, u know.coz he actually asked her & not me..*sigh*.. but then I guessed it doesn’t really matter, as long as we can go home safe & sound.but it still stings up to now when I think about it.it was kinda disappointing for me. 😦 ..anyways.. after saying that,I explained to him what happened to our ride back there,right up ’til I called him.he just nodded.I noticed that he’s still wasn’t satisfied w/ my explanation,but he didn’t mentioned anything after that.
..he introduced us to his friend beside him.we chatted all the way to the gift shop in cihampelas.while we were picking our gifts,I noticed that he came along & was already talking 2 my friend.i was so damn jealous back there that I quickly paid my stuffs & pretended to look @ the other way.finished,we got back in the car.
..back inside the car, he said that they were going to a place be4 going back home.he mentioned some place’s name which me & my friend took it as some sort of a vacation spot or a place to shop.me & my friend said it’s fine coz we’re not working anyways 2morrow.so,he began to drove us there,w/ his friend as the navigator (..not a good one,that is X)). we got lost a few times be4 heading on the right track.
..when we finally arrived almost night fall,it was in front of some house where his friend’s relative lived.he & his friend got out of the car & told us to stay put for awhile coz they’re just going in for a minute or two.after he closed the door & left us behind,me & my friend started to feel anxious..why??..well,it’s coz normally it’s not polite to not come down & greet the owner, at least for a quick while. we sat restlessly in the car waiting for them 2 come out. by this time,we realized that this would take more than a minute & we’re going to be back home way late tonight. a minute later,he did came out.he knocked at the car window & told us to come down for awhile coz the owner is asking for us,just like what we expected to be.so we went into the house altogether.
..inside,I noticed that his friend were sitting in the far left chair,while he took the ones far right..leaving the middle ones empty for us.I figured that ‘normal’ folks will mistook us as couples. subconsciously,I took a step back & let my friend sat first by his side,while I sat near his friend’s.he said to the old folks that we’re all friends who were just on our way back from an event altogether.as I suspected,not long after saying that,the housewife began to ask him,”so,when r u getting married?which one between these 2 r the lucky ones?”.all 4 of us started to laugh.both he & his friend explained to them that we’re all just friends.she doesn’t believe it.she said,”well,it’s alright if it’s real.maybe this one is your fiance?”,this time she looked closely at my friend beside me.we laughed again & he explained to them all over again.a short while after that,we took a break to pray.
..after finished praying,we all got back to the living room.they started talking again using native language,which made me & my friend even more uneasy coz we don’t understand a word they’re saying.but after awhile,the owner told us to forgave them for being so rude by not talking in a language we understood.then he started to ask about me & my friend’s origin.I guess he’s still curious about our status.he started asking the same question again & this time he even pointed his finger at us.”so then,this is your fiance & that one is yours?”,he asked pointing his finger towards him & my friend,then me & his friend.we all laughed again.my friend made a comical face & said,”why am I always being the one targeted?”.”why does it always have 2 b u?”,he said,still laughing hard.”why can’t it be eve?”,he said suddenly out loud,pointing his finger at me.at this point,my heart stopped beating.I wasn’t laughing w/ them anymore.I was so damn startled that I couldn’t say a word back at him. I just stared & sat back, trying to hide my already red face @ the back of my friend’s body.in the back of my hide,I started to scream,”that wasn’t funny at all!! don’t pick on me like that!!”.after taking a deep breathe,all I can say to him is,”no way!she’s yours!”.my heart start pumping hard,hands all sweaty,& I believe my face went a bit red also.I just hope that nobody notice it.that aside,they’ve finally manage to told those old folks the real reason they came for.in a bit of an unpleasant way to,if I might add.even though it’s their problem,me & my friend felt bad also coz it turns out that we’re also been drag in this whole drama unintentionally.
..setting that aside,we got back on our track & headed home.we stop by a restaurant before continuing our ride & ate dinner.finished,we hit the road again.
..it was a looong ride.but since we kept talking & laughing all the way,it doesn’t seem to be that long.it was kinda fun,I might add 🙂 .. on the road,he suddenly asked me again what drives me to call him earlier.I was like,OMG!do u not believe me the first time? his facial was all serious like the first time he asked me.he stared right into my eyes,still expecting for me to tell the truth & nothing but the truth.I stared back at him,making sure he looked at me, & told him the same story I told him before.this time I answered it w/ a bit of an annoyed tone as if accusing me of lying to him or did it on purpose while looking for an excuse.I said,”OMG!u’r the one who asked her in the first place,isn’t it not?”.I looked at my friend & this time,my friend back me up & did the whole explaining.. again.. after she finished,he nodded & said,”so,ur the one who has my number.” he said it with a boy-ish grin on his face (which make me wanna take a punch at him,if only there was just the 2 of us ^^).then I said,”& what’s the matter with that?next time I’ll give her your number,ok,so there.” I couldn’t help but felt a bit jealous about it & I think it’s shown clearly on my face.he just smiled & said,”come on,give her my number,too.” I was so jealous at his remark that I had to turn my head away,sulking.it’s funny though if u thought about it.it’s like I wanted him exclusively for myself.but in reality, I’m just a nobody to him,so why did I bother to act like that?guess I just acted out of plain jealousy.whatever.. 😛
.. then they talked about a lot of stuffs.I said ‘they’ coz the 3 of them do much of the talking,while I just listened carefully & holding my stomach which for some reason had a bad case of indigestion all of the sudden. once or twice I laughed at their jokes/remarks. in the middle of their conversation,his friend offered my friend if she’s interested to go out with his other friend.she made a joke about it though. suddenly,he interrupted,”hey,don’t just offer her.don’t forget,there’s another one behind me who wants a go,too.” I was caught by surprise.again,I just stared back at him without saying a thing.after I regain my composure, I said,”what do u mean by that?there’s no need for that sort,”. and I really meant it.didn’t he already got the picture earlier that I’ve been setting my eyes on him this whole year? why do I want to choose another? don’t know if his just joking around or was trying to test me.if he was testing me,well..guess I failed miserably.coz then he smiled & said in a low voice,”hmmm,I bet inside u want it too very much.” jiaaaahh..!! this kind of attitude makes me hate him so much, it made me wanna poke him & told him to just shut up.of course,I couldn’t do that in front of other ppl.. ^__^
..then his friend started talking about my friend’s character.again,out of the blue,he said,”what do u think ’bout eve?”.I startled.what was this guy doing anyway?couldn’t he just ask me if he really wanna get to know me?I’d be more than glad to tell.there was this weird silence in the air suddenly.I couldn’t stand it.but then his friend spoke in a serious manner,”well,since she didn’t talk too much,I don’t know what her character might look.” I didn’t say a word. I should’ve just said something smart & witty,but that’s the end of that conversation.
..finally,we made it back to ckrng.he asked where he could drop me off.I told him that I’ll be staying a night at my friend’s place coz it’s way late to go home tonight.all the while,inside,my subconscious were screaming like crazy,”WTH R U THINKING??!!let him drive u home,u idiot!!wasn’t that the whole point of this charade??”.OMG,how I really wish that he could just drove me home.this is the 2nd time he offered me & I blew it..AGAIN!!..aaaarrrgghh !! if it wasn’t for my motorcycle that I bought with me 2 days ago,it would’ve been a perfect ending of that day.damn it!!did u know that I actually thought of not bringing my bike a few days ago before this vacation?? how I wish I’d just go with my guts at that time..hix3x.. T_T
..so,now the vacation has officially ended. even though it wasn’t much of a fun like the ones last year,but I had my share of ‘fun’ after all..& much more lucky, hi8x.. 😉 ..but on the other hand,raises much more question for me at what he’s up to ..
..just for a quick recap..he mentioned a lot of strange thing that whole day..like first,he asked what made me call him..& TWICE he asked me that,with those serious eyes & tone.is he making sure that I was REALLY not the one who wanted to call?for what reason?..then second,at his friend’s place,he said why not me instead of my friend who was being targeted as his future fiance.does he really mean it?that would be such a great honor for me ^^..third,he’s asking his friend to judge my character.now why would he ask such a question?what would he gain?does he really wanna get to know me that well?..fourth,he told his friend to get me a date & I rejected his offer.then he said that I lied,as if he knows what my heart is yearning for.so u know duh… 😉
..well,let’s just hope for the best then.I’ve been doing all the ‘work’ this past year.I think it’s time for me to step back,settle down & watch his next moves.if he already realized it,then it’s up to him to decide what’s the next step.whether he like me back or not,it’s all in the hands of God now.I just hope it turned out for the best for both of us. Amin…. 🙂

huh??!! just what the freaking happened yesterday??
I should be over him by now..at least that’s hat I thought for a moment. wanna know what happened ? well,it’s like this…
yesterday, I had a patient in ER who needed to be operated & fast.at first, I didn’t know there’s a surgeon available in the morning, until a friend told me.so, I called him to the ER.the surgeon wanted to operate fast,but still needs to consult an internist 1st before doing it,it’s SOP.since the internist hasn’t came yet,he asked whether there’s an anesthesiologist around.a nurse said that there’s one available in the OR, who just finished operating.so she called the OR & told them about it.
just out of curiosity, I asked her who’s the person.she mentioned someone who’s name I didn’t know at first.after she rang,I asked her again who’s there.and she mentioned his.I was like,”uh-oh,who was it again?”..dunno what came over me after that.my heart started to skip a beat,but I tried to remained still & calm all the while..before he came barging in..;P
suddenly,all the nurses greeted someone coming from the door.a moment later,he came walking (felt like almost running, though) in the ER.I greeted him like I usually did any other time.apparently,he wasn’t paying attention to me coz he then greeted the surgeon first.I was like,OK,no prob there.he hadn’t met this surgeon before.so it was just polite to introduce one-self first,especially when he’s way much senior than he is.so,ut f courtesy,I just sat there & watch them getting to know each other.
a moment later,a nurse came my & handed me an ecg sheet.I took it from her hand and my hands just started trembling..yup,pretty much trembling,shaken,or whatever it’s called.I was even shocked myself!! what’s happening here, I wonder.I took a quick glance at him & notice that his still caught up in the conversation.quickly, I dropped the sheet on the desk & hide my hands under the desk,pretending nothing happened.I was like,”what the hell’s happening to me here?!” I thought I’ve already forgotten all about him..well, not all maybe..but at least I wasn’t hoping for anything for awhile back..*sigh*..boy,how wrong that was !! it’s like every inch of my body missed him so badly that it went overboard at the sight of him. ultimately, even my whole body betrayed me !! damn it !! T_T
..guess I was just being a fraud all this time..damn ! I get angry at myself just thinking about it.. 😦

1. Men Want To Be Adored

Tell him why you love him so much, often and clearly. Let him know that he is everything to you. Just as you may be his Princess, your man wants to know he’s your Prince.

2. Men Want To Be Consulted

There is no need to pretend you’re stupid, but when you find something your man is knowledgeable or passionate about, let him take the stage. Ask his opinion and let him feel he’s an active part of your decisions and choices.

3. Men Want To Be Trusted
Many of us have been hurt or lied to, but if your man isn’t the one who hurt you, trust him. Go out of your way to give him no reason to doubt you and your own trustworthiness. Let him know you feel safe and secure with

4. Men Want To Feel Sexy

Okay, so it might be an ego stroke, but men like to feel sexy or handsome or fit or fill-in-his-adjective here just as much as women do. You’d never believe how far a few “Do you know how sexy you are to me?” or “You look hot in that!” comments will go for you. They’re like relationship gold and always appreciated. Plus, he will start appreciating and complimenting you more too!

5. Men Want You To Be Their Friend

Many men don’t have the traditional social outlets that women do to discuss their emotions, dreams, and fears. By being his friend first, without judging, you allow him to be a real person with you which will build more trust and love (and even fiery romance) into your relationship. As a result, your entire relationship will become that much stronger.