does he really mean it ?
Posted September 4, 2011on:
a couple of days ago,as I finished assisting a birth in the OR,he mentioned something that kinda tickled me up ’til this moment.u c,we were just talking about how much fun we had @ hk coz they have a lot of entertaining events yearly/monthly.what I wanna tell u is that he brought up about the time when we were being ‘neighbours’ @ a resort a few months ago in Garut again.why again,u asked?that’s coz actually he already mentioned it to my friend ’bout how we became neighbours in the 1st place & my friend told me about it instantly that day ^^..what tickles me is that he was trying pretty hard to look as though he brought up the conversation about it unpredictably.he said,”it’s fun going out with a lot of ppl once in a while.remember the last time we had a gathering a few months back?did u came also?”. I was like,”of course I did.I don’t wanna miss things like that happening”.then he said,”oh yeah,that’s right!you were beside me that day,weren’t you?”.he looked @ me & gave a flirtatious smile while waiting for my reactionI know,my first reaction should be that my face would go red or something like that.but what did I do instead?I went blank,literally!I mean really,really blank.for a moment there I can’t help but wonder,”when have I ever been next 2 u at that time?I didn’t sat beside u in ur car,or any other thing..& then it hit me!!oh,what he meant was the time when our rooms are beside each other!OMG,is he flirting w/ me?as soon as I noticed it,I smiled back at him & said,”oh,come on!ur just pretending u’ve 4gotten all about itaren’t you?how could u 4get something like that so easily?”.I was trying 2 tease him back by saying something like,”how come u didn’t came that night?u know,I didn’t lock the front door 4 u” hi3x..😉 but then someone came into the lounge & we stop talking about it..correction,’flirting’ back & forth about it,ha8x..😀 OMG,now I’m beginning 2 wonder did he really mean what he meant that day 2 my friend?am I already 2 late?who knows,maybe it’s just his way on pushing me away subtly after realizing (..Finally!!) that I have feelings 4 him.so maybe I’m 2 late, & so what?of course,I was heart-broken when I heard that he already have someone (which still remains 2 b proven up ’til now wheteher it’s just his imagination or not ^^).so how do I feel about him now?all I know is that I’m happy w/ him,may it be that he’s still single or already taken.I’m just happy that I still have the chance 2 be near him up ’til this moment.don’t know what the future may bring to both of us.all I know now is that I hope everything that had happened 2 me this past 2 yrs is not just wasted for nothing.let’s try 2 look at it from the bright side.maybe God wanted me 2 meet him in the 1st place so that I can move forward w/ my career.coz u c,when I look back @ when before he came,I do feel like that this is my limit & I don’t have 2 move on anywhere.now when I think about it,maybe it all makes sense.coz since the day I meet him,I constantly feel myself being pushed forward,being ‘motivated’, 2 become more than what I was like back then.is this why You sent him to meet me,God?or is this just 1 of Your plan 2 introduce me to my future ‘soul-mate’?well,whatever Your plan is,I realized that it’s for the best & I thank You for everything that You did so far.Insya Allah,this journey will make me happy in the end..& for him,too..or maybe for both of us.. Amin..🙂