eve winchester’s Blog

wth does this mean??

Posted on: June 24, 2010

huh??!! just what the freaking happened yesterday??
I should be over him by now..at least that’s hat I thought for a moment. wanna know what happened ? well,it’s like this…
yesterday, I had a patient in ER who needed to be operated & fast.at first, I didn’t know there’s a surgeon available in the morning, until a friend told me.so, I called him to the ER.the surgeon wanted to operate fast,but still needs to consult an internist 1st before doing it,it’s SOP.since the internist hasn’t came yet,he asked whether there’s an anesthesiologist around.a nurse said that there’s one available in the OR, who just finished operating.so she called the OR & told them about it.
just out of curiosity, I asked her who’s the person.she mentioned someone who’s name I didn’t know at first.after she rang,I asked her again who’s there.and she mentioned his.I was like,”uh-oh,who was it again?”..dunno what came over me after that.my heart started to skip a beat,but I tried to remained still & calm all the while..before he came barging in..;P
suddenly,all the nurses greeted someone coming from the door.a moment later,he came walking (felt like almost running, though) in the ER.I greeted him like I usually did any other time.apparently,he wasn’t paying attention to me coz he then greeted the surgeon first.I was like,OK,no prob there.he hadn’t met this surgeon before.so it was just polite to introduce one-self first,especially when he’s way much senior than he is.so,ut f courtesy,I just sat there & watch them getting to know each other.
a moment later,a nurse came my & handed me an ecg sheet.I took it from her hand and my hands just started trembling..yup,pretty much trembling,shaken,or whatever it’s called.I was even shocked myself!! what’s happening here, I wonder.I took a quick glance at him & notice that his still caught up in the conversation.quickly, I dropped the sheet on the desk & hide my hands under the desk,pretending nothing happened.I was like,”what the hell’s happening to me here?!” I thought I’ve already forgotten all about him..well, not all maybe..but at least I wasn’t hoping for anything for awhile back..*sigh*..boy,how wrong that was !! it’s like every inch of my body missed him so badly that it went overboard at the sight of him. ultimately, even my whole body betrayed me !! damn it !! T_T
..guess I was just being a fraud all this time..damn ! I get angry at myself just thinking about it.. 😦


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