eve winchester’s Blog

caught by surprise

Posted on: March 31, 2009

if there were anytime that could make me feel anxious,it would’ve been about a few months ago…Good,how stupid & naive I was back then!! it’s just pathetic. why you say? just because some guy said that he’s willing to wait for me, doesn’t mean that he really meant it. it’s just mental! who,in their right kind of mind,would want to have something to do with me? mental, I tell you! but then again…

it’s just that those little gestures can make you feel…what’s the right word here? alive, maybe? you see, I’ve always felt like that I would’ve never..ever, get the chance to feel this way again.but there it goes. ..geez,look at me!I’m probably the most disgusting pathetic kind of person ever,daaahh…

guess I should’ve paid mre attention at the time, as to what we were talking about.actually,I got the message about where this conversation is going.but just like that, I quickly back off.

honestly, I think I’ve been drawn more into him without even realizing myself. you know,coz he’s been very kind to me, appreciative, easy to talk to…well, actually he’s like this to everybody. I just haven’t got the faintest idea that it would come t this situation…of all people…

I wish we had more time back then to talk about it more privately.but then, I could always call him,right? I know his cell number & vice versa…beep,wrong!! I wouldn’t even dare to do that.just don’t have enough guts to do so.

wow,it seems like I enjoyed having this feeling again after all these years. what’s that? woo there, I’m not gonna say the L word out loud.not now anyway but it sure seems like it.now I can’t help but think, what would’ve happened if I didn’t goof off thinking it was a harmless joke back then…


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